The Adventures of Yao and Lebron: 2010

Saturday, December 4, 2010

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Well hello there, this is Associate Yao. Please to carefully consider what we is wearing on our heads. Santy hats! We is now Santy Bears, and are very much of excited to meet our fellow bear santys as well as of peeeeeeeeeeeooople Santy (Nina tells us he is of real)! O M of G!

Please to be of noting that we are wearing our Santy hats while doing of comfy!

**Doing of comfy translates to wearing robes.

Apotheke ain't got nothing on us

HEDDO. DIS LEBRON TALKING. YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE OF GOOD MARGYRITA? YOU USE OF TEQUILA AND DO OF BOOZE AND PUT OF SALT ON CUP? HA, I LAUGH AT OF YOU. ME AND ASSOCIATE YAO MAKE OF BEST MARGYRITAS IN THE WHOLE OF WORLD.

WE ARE FANCY COCKTAIL BEARS. TONIGHT WE IS FEATURING OF PREEEEKALY CACKYTUUS FRUITS MARGYRITA, OF REGULAR MARGYRITA AND OF POMMYGRANITE MARGYRITA.

AND ALSO OF BEER. BUT NO OF BEER MARGYRITA -- DON'T BE OF GROSS.

That's not a survival kit. THIS is a survival kit

You probably pack things like waterproof matches, MREs, a tarpaulin and other boring stuff like that. Not the men. If they're ever lost in the woods, dammit they're going to be entertained (not that we'd ever lose them in the woods). Entertained and drinking.

Wish it, want it, do it

The men wanted to be comfy. But not just your run-of-the-mill comfy; they demanded more. Much more. And they got it in spades. I present to you ---

TRIPLE COMFY

Moon over Miami

BUTTS!

Ladies and gennemen, your New York Giants

Perhaps Tom Coughlin should look into hiring the men, given how the Giants season is going so far. Yao prefers to stand under center as QB, and Lebron showcases a mean strong side presence from the Cornerback position.

A Balanced Diet (for bears)

The gentlemen thrive on a slight variation of the Elf (TM) food groups:

1. Candy

2. Candy Corn

3. Beer

4. Big Meat

These bags are just a mid-afternoon runup to a 400lb beef acccompanied by 5,000 beers each.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot

After reading up on Colorado (their future home), the men have learned that there is a lot of hiking to do out west. They are packed up and ready to go, in a backpack built for two. It's packed with all of the hiking essentials:

1. Beer

2. More beer

3. Directions to a beer store

4. A big meat

Run training

Part of looking this awesome is staying in shape. The men are suited up and ready for a run. Lebron should be the official model for Vibram Five Fingers.

Cirque du Lebron and Yao

Good eeeevening, and welcome to the greatest show on fur! Now taking center chandelier, the wondrous duo of Big Jamon and King Queso (i.e. Yao & Lebron). Witness their death defying stunts on the mystical plastic trapeeze, where they float with the GREATEST of ease. And with beer.

Steeeeeeeeeeeerike One!

Lebronster Monster throws a mean hook. Good thing Yao always keeps his eye on the ball. This is destined for ESPN Classic.

Makin friends

Sociable bears are we! We were introduced to "Bear" while enjoying time in quiet New Jersey. We nicknamed him Fumbo, but it didn't seem to stick.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Nobody can get us in here!

1. Fort - check.

2. Beers - check.

3. TV - check. In front of the fort.

We are in our AWESOME fort drinking a BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER. And watching hockey.

Iron bears

Tyler is doing something crazy called the Ironman. We do not know what this is, but we think it is some sort of triathlon race. We want to do it too! So we found some of Tyler's racing clothes and put them on - he'll see how stylish we look and sign us up right away.

We'll just have to learn how to ride bicycles. And swim. And run. Zut.

We could be IRON BEARS.

Wheeee!

On the bike with Tyler! I don't know why he rides inside, though. Seems dumb to us.

Going out alone

Nina has been feeling bad, so Tyler said we should do something nice for her. He said she likes flowers, so we said "TYLER WE WILL GET HER FLOWERS! CAN WE GET HER FLOWERS? HOW DO WE GET HER FLOWERS? WHAT ARE FLOWERS?"

He told us where to go, and gave us bears all the monies we would need. We got flowers! And we got them all by ourselves. We had a nice walk down the street. We did use some of the monies for beer, though.

Tyler, we hope this is okay.

Out exploring

Part 2 of getting ready for Denver. Exploring time!

"Yao, we are at 58 degrees north latitude, 72 degrees west longitude."

"Ok Lebron, what does that mean?"

"Means we are lost."

"Zut."

So...Early...Needs...Coffee

No hair of the bear today. Too many BEERS! last night. Just need coffee. Nina and Tyler seem to like it. Hopefully it is good for bears as well.

Quick, they'll be home soon!

Yao - suck up all the bottle caps. I'll clean up the table. They'll never know we were playing flip cup, with BEER.

Gotta practice, gotta practice

We heard them talking quietly about it. Something about some place called "Denver." They're giong to go away and leave us all alone to go CAMPING! Oh noes oh noes oh noes - will they never come back? Maybe if we are excellent CAMPING BEARS they will take us too! We don't want to have to be alone.

Good thing we found Tyler's sleeping bag.

The boys of summer

So much cold, so much rain. We declare it is now time for the beach! There was one nice day, so on with the swim trunks and out with the towel. Only problem was we couldn't find sunscreen, so we got a little burned.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

So after St. Patrick's Day...

What can we say...it was a rough morning. Hair of the bear, while sitting in the sun.

Yao and Lebron go Bragh!

Sláinte!

Too much rain. NO!

It is important to stay dry. And warm. Even indoors.

And in this apartment, especially indoors.

Crisis averted

Thanks to stupid Time Warner Cable, all 4 of us (Nina and Tyler too! OH NOES!) were without good television for several days. So one day while they were at work, we got down to it with our electrician tools and fixed the TV. It is now back, and we are HEROES!

Cleanliness is next to bearliness

Getting ready for bed checklist:

1. Teeth brushed? Check

2. Showered? Check

3. Stylish towel application? Double check

Back home...

We are sick and tired of this terrible NYC weather. Rain, snow, hot, cold, NO. To this we say - - - "Take us back to San Diego!" We remember that people wear hooded sweatshirts there. Maybe if WE wear hooded sweatshirts, we can go back to where it is nice. And warm.

First Driving Lesson!

It was pouring down rain, but Tyler took us all the way to the car, and LET US DRIVE! And might we say, we are excellent.

*Now considering a career as FORMULA 1 BEARS.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Well groomed bears

The men decided it was time to get rid of their 5 o'clock shadows. They keep it old school with the blades.

It's almost race season!

Needing to stay in shape, the men have decided that they need to take up a sport. As they are manly bears, they have chosen the manliest sport possible: triathlon. Lebron cuts right through the wind with his aero helmet, and Yao is ready to attack the run.

What pairs well with Rioja?

The men are whipping up a mean Paella. Lebron mans the saute station, while Yao is in charge of ingredients.

Butcher stripe shirts for spring

Now that the guys commute into Manhattan (when they're not playing professional baseball), they need to stay informed on the most recent fashion trends. They are learning that solid print ties and bold striped shirts are in for Spring 2010.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I suggest the Rioja

Now that the men are working city bears (not to mention professional baseball players), they have developed a taste for the finer things in life. Tonight they will be opening a lovely bottle of Cune Rioja, which they brought back with them from their trip to Spain last fall.

Lebron is poised to open the bottle, and Yao has kindly thought the provide the stemware.

Allow us to sell you something!

The men have taken jobs in sales and are getting ready for their commute into Manhattan. Lebron finds his paisley tie to be rather sporty, whereas his fellow salesbear Yao's choice of neckwear is a bit more traiditional.

Coincidentally, they are also very ready for the next season of Mad Men to start. They hope to make cameo appearances.